Encouragement for These Who Have Been Betrayed

Why Does Betrayal Shatter Us So Deeply?

Betrayal crushes us, as a result of actual relationships are constructed on belief. Actual friendship is grounded within the strong bedrock of regular faithfulness we are able to depend on by means of thick and skinny. Once we belief somebody, we take a danger. We hand over to them one thing of ourselves deep inside. We change into weak. If our belief is then violated, it isn’t simply our plans that get modified. Our hearts get damaged. It couldn’t be extra private—and sharply felt.

The Bible helps us perceive why a lot is at stake in these bonds we type collectively. We aren’t trivial beings, not the way in which God created us. And the glory of all of it shines most brightly in {our relationships}—or it ought to, anyway. Scripture exhibits us the way-down-deep glory, the divine glory, in devoted human relationships. We see it time and again in one of many Bible’s central themes: covenant.

For instance, the preface to the entire Bible is Genesis 1–11. There God says to Noah, “I’ll set up my covenant with you” (Gen. 6:18). What was God doing by saying that? He was committing himself. He didn’t need to. No one even requested him to. However God obtained concerned—willingly, sincerely. He obligated himself, in order that he couldn’t again out, it doesn’t matter what it will value him.¹ Why would God stick his neck out like that? As a result of he cares. He actually does care about this train-wreck world. And he’s dedicated to taking us all the way in which, to the place our happiness won’t ever finish.

Rock-solid covenantal faithfulness—God sums up the great thing about it when he says to us, as he does repeatedly, “I shall be your God, and you can be my folks” (see Gen. 17:7; Ex. 6:7; and many others.). In different phrases, “Right here is my solemn promise to you, at all times and perpetually. I shall be God to you—for all that God is price. And you can be my folks—my very own pricey ones. We are going to at all times be collectively, no matter it prices me.” And right here is my level. Doing life collectively in that covenantal means is the large, wraparound class for every part else in the entire Bible (Gal. 3:15–29). It’s the key perception into the God-defined actuality we live in.

Right here’s why I feel that’s wonderful. Covenant implies that we’ve parachuted right into a universe the place Final Actuality will not be politics, not even physics, however relationships—private, lasting, lovely relationships of guarantees made and guarantees stored. It’s who God is, and who God made us to be. Different gods aren’t covenantal. “The thought of a covenant between a deity and a folks is unknown to us from different religions and cultures.”² Covenant residing is uniquely Christian. And if a covenant-keeping God created us to be covenant-keeping folks collectively, then violating belief will not be solely the betrayal of a pal. It’s a stab in God’s again.

Let’s all admit how we’ve let others down. However a part of God’s covenant with us is to assist us even there. He guarantees to create in us new hearts that can do the precise factor, it doesn’t matter what (Jer. 31:31–34).

The underside line is that this. Covenantal relationships of dedication and belief will not be a human invention we are able to modify for our comfort. The great thing about expensive faithfulness is a divine present worthy of our reverence. Covenantal residing is crucial to human flourishing. We reside collectively in neighborhood by making guarantees and preserving guarantees. God dignifies all {our relationships} with each other with covenantal dynamics.

Right here’s how sensible it will get. Once I stroll right into a room, in that second I actually owe everybody there my finest. They usually owe me their finest. We aren’t at all times good at it. However let’s be clear in our resolve to be devoted to at least one one other, by God’s grace. The essence of our magnificence collectively is a “you possibly can depend on me” vulnerability.

When your belief was violated, you weren’t loopy to really feel how a lot was actually on the road. One thing really worthy was being trashed. Protecting our phrase with each other glorifies God and honors folks. However betrayal resides hell.

Someplace I heard Jordan Peterson level out that, in Dante’s Inferno, the deepest stage of hell is reserved for treacherous folks responsible of betrayal. And their hell will not be a lake of fireside however of ice. One Dante scholar explains: “That is Dante’s symbolic equal of the ultimate guilt. The treacheries of those souls have been denials of affection and of all human heat. Solely the remorseless lifeless middle of the ice will serve to specific their natures.”³ No marvel you discovered betrayal completely chilling. What got here after you was severely evil.

There is just one factor extra expensive than giving our hearts away. And that’s not giving our hearts away in any respect.

There is just one factor extra expensive than giving our hearts away. And that’s not giving our hearts away in any respect. In his traditional work The 4 Loves, C. S. Lewis helps us see the alternate options at all times earlier than us:

​​To like in any respect is to be weak. Love something, and your coronary heart will definitely be wrung and presumably be damaged. If you wish to make certain of preserving it intact, you will need to give your coronary heart to nobody, not even to an animal. Wrap it fastidiously spherical with hobbies and little luxuries; keep away from all entanglements; lock it up protected within the casket or coffin of your selfishness. However in that casket—protected, darkish, immobile, airless—it’ll change. It won’t be damaged; it’ll change into unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The choice to tragedy, or at the very least to the danger of tragedy, is damnation. The one place outdoors Heaven the place you will be completely protected from all the risks and perturbations of affection is Hell.⁴

Thanks for giving your coronary heart away. Although your belief was damaged, nonetheless, you stepped into covenant. You probably did the Christlike factor. Technique to go! The Lord will honor you for staying true to him when it was expensive.

That is the message that you’ve heard from the start, that we must always love each other. We shouldn’t be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he homicide him? As a result of his personal deeds have been evil and his brother’s righteous. (1 John 3:11–12)

Possibly you weren’t good in that covenant relationship. However you have been Christian. The truth is, that was your crime. It was your integrity that made you somebody’s sacrificial lamb.

This text is tailored from Good Information at Rock Backside: Discovering God When the Ache Goes Deep and Hope Appears Misplaced by Ray Ortlund.

Associated Articles